Fertility & Me!

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX BABY!  Do I have your attention great, of course, you now have the tune of the song by Salt & Pepper (showing my age now) in your head and you are singing that song in your head too!  So, what does that have to do with Health? 

As a Fertility Reflexologist Specialist, it is one aspect of the process, but mostly I talk about our bodies’ clock and the sometimes, hard time that young women and those waiting until a little bit later in life, are having to conceive a baby.

My Fertility Journey

After learning so much about my body and how it works through my reflexology training and my nutrition training, I was well on my way, as I thought, to get the family I was longing for.

How little did I know!!

Of course, as we all do. I had done my research and understood that I would be put through menopause and all sorts of drugs would be pumped into my body by my own hand too!

Cycle 1 – July 2005

I was put on Clomid which is a drug that enhances the chances of producing sufficient eggs for the whole process to be viable. My reserves proved to be OK! Thank God!

So we managed all of this and I was fortunate enough to produce two viable eggs after the clinic in Harley Street had done their magic, they were both put back. How excited was I!

I then had the inevitable 2ww (for those not initiated into the jargon world of fertility, this is the waiting time from the eggs being planted back inside you to the first chance that they want you to do a pregnancy test). Mine was a big fat negative!

Moving on!

Cycle 2 – September 2005

Much the same as the last one but this time no dream! After this cycle, I visited a friend for a well-needed week in Qatar. It was wonderful to see her and her husband have a complete rest away from home. I had registered interest in contributing to a TV documentary on older single women trying to get pregnant. Upon my return, I was called to a filming weekend with Channel 4 and the documentary team. I had also filmed in my home and was being asked plenty of questions that really get you thinking.

So in October 2005, I met the rest of the girls from the Baby Race there were a total of 23 of us and we had a wonderful weekend of filming and getting to know one another even to this day (2018) we are still, well some of us, in touch.

Within the group, there were various of us trying to get a baby, from IVF using donor sperm, IVF using a known sperm donor to DIY with donor sperm, and of course adoption from abroad.

Cycle 3 – Last Clomid cycle – November 2005

This was the last of the three cycles I had signed up for and the pregnancy test fell on Xmas Day of that year. Well, it was going to be a great Xmas or a total nightmare. Total nightmare it was, but I did not let that completely spoil the festivities.

I had a plan. I was going to do three more.

Cycle 4 – February 2006

Nothing special about this cycle apart from I did a lot of research about where to find the cheapest place that I could get the drugs that I needed. And I did find some at the Lister Hospital. I saved approximately £400 on them. It was at this point that I decided to further my knowledge and skills with Reflexology and I was injecting myself during the course in laybys on the motorway.

I even went on an overnight cruise with some friends and nearly missed getting off the boat as the injections needed to be done at specific times of the day. That was eventful especially as people were looking very strangely at me because I had needles and drugs! I did wonder what they thought, I left them wondering.

I also attended a seminar in London with a midwife turned Maternity Reflexology training and I can’t believe that I am telling you this but for the first time in my whole life I walked out of a seminar. This lady was adamant that IVF patients did not deserve to have reflexology or any treatment to help them, little did she know that I was on my 2WW so this being told to us at the start of the afternoon session was like a kick in my guts. I promptly left in total disgust. Needless to say that from this point on I was even more determined to do whatever I could for ANYONE that was trying to have a family.

Unsuccessful again!

The good news was that I passed my Maternity Reflexology training (this tutor was also a midwife but certainly more amenable towards IVF).

Cycle 5 – June 2006

This cycle was quite interesting. I presented after the first lot of drugs as being overstimulated so we abandoned this cycle and strangely the universe presented me with an opportunity. Let’s just say a man and wine were involved!

I was waiting for my period to arrive so that I could start the next cycle. After talking to the clinic they said that if it had not arrived by Friday, this was the Tuesday they could send me a drug to bring it on. I did not feel completely comfortable with this for some reason. Well in the afternoon I presented myself to the local Chemist with a sample and a test was done there and then, I was called into the storeroom to be told that it was positive! WTF!!!!!

Wow and wow and wow again!

Anyway, this joy was also short-lived as I did have a bleed and miscarried a week later. DOH!

I tried again but we were not successful.

Cycle 6 – Last Chance Saloon – Feb 2007

I knew that I could fall pregnant by now but for some reason was unable to sustain it. With this cycle, the clinic went a bit further with what they did and we went for ICSI (where they fertilise the egg and allow it to go a bit further before implanting back). Known as BLASTO stage.

I was mildly hopeful on this one! The journey home was a funny one as they had to sedate me a bit and I have been told that on the way home I was constantly asking the same question about how good the egg was that went back.

2WW and yet again and another big fat negative!!

So, this was not meant to be for me well the natural way!

I did from this to go on to adopt a beautiful little boy which is a whole other story!!

Are women waiting to have a family?  My story is not unusual, Why is this? 

A good question, the answer is multi-faceted with our own individual health, and the family health traits, the environment together with how we deal with stress.

Stress! you ask how can that affect our fertility?  Very very much so!  Stress is one of the biggest factors that create dis-ease in our bodies affecting how our hormones react.  The hormones we generally think about is adrenaline and noradrenaline, you have heard of the fight or flight response well that’s them. On top of that Adrenaline has an effect on the hormones that we need to produce eggs and sperm for a healthy pregnancy.  Unfortunately, this can be a bit of a vicious circle as trying for a baby creates its own stress. Every month that a period arrives telling us that another month has failed and that’s not even considering the stresses of working and looking after a home and family.

So what is Reflexology

It is an ancient practice that is thought to go back to the Egyptians; they have pictures depicting people working on other’s feet in the Physians’ Tomb.

The Physicians Tomb in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings

Reflexology uses the principle that different areas of the feet relate to different areas and organs of the body and stimulating these areas with gentle pressure may bring about balance and healing.  I have found that the main benefits and the benefits are not exhaustive are:

  • De-stressing and reducing anxiety so total relaxation –
  • Hormone Balancing which in the case of somebody trying to conceive and having problems is a very important area
  • Increasing the effective working of the body, the body is a fine tuned instrument and sometimes needs a little kick to get back on track.

Reflexology works on many different levels.

1.         MIND we are what we think, you may remember the saying you are what you eat.  I can tell you that you are also what you think.  Have you ever thought to yourself on a Friday morning about phoning in sick because you want a day off!! We have all done it and you have probably made the decision the night before, you pick up the phone to make the call and put on THAT voice, great you got away with it!  Then on Saturday morning low and behold you go down with an illness.  Your mind listened to you and gave you what it thinks you wanted.

How about changing it to what you want, there are hundreds of books available giving you ideas on how to do this.  For now think about what you want to have happened by the end of the day, wait and see what happens.

For my clients, I use visualisation and meditations alongside the amazing Reflexology treatment to help them visualise the outcome that they want to achieve, for most it is a healthy and successful pregnancy and becoming a parent.  Don’t forget you want the end goal so just a successful pregnancy is not enough you want to become a Mum right?

2.         BODY this is a huge area, but we are all individuals and come to the table with unique strengths and weaknesses and sometimes hereditary illnesses.  Using Reflexology works to help the body balance it works to help the systems of the body of which there are seven – Digestive System, Immune System, Nervous System, Skin, Urinary System, Respiratory System, Cardiovascular System.  They are their own systems but of course intrinsically linked together to make a whole person.  Reflexology has been known to balance all of these systems by helping the body to do what it does best.  Our bodies are amazing machines and will always keep us in what is called a homeostasis state – balanced. 

3.         SPIRIT – you don’t have to be spiritual to have the experiences that this area affects.  You have probably already experienced this in some way too, have you been thinking about a particular person and they have messaged you or called you in that very instance, or you went out and bumped into them.  That’s the universe at work using your wants and needs to get you what you want.  I could talk for ages about this area,

Fertility Reflexology

This is a very specific area of Reflexology.  My clients come to me for various reasons and to be honest varying amounts of time that they have been trying to conceive (TTC). Anything from 6 months to 8 years, the general rule is about 2-3 years that nothing has happened.  Of course, they have done all the research and still nothing.  Some clients are using me as a last resort before they go down the IVF route, but thankfully the majority of these clients don’t need to go that far and looking at my statistics over the last year, the average number of treatments that a client needs is between 3 and 12.  A very very small number have required more and this tends to be that they have other issues the most common one being Age or Endometriosis.  

So what happens at a session, firstly there is normally a 15-minute consultation on the phone, This is for two reasons to make sure;

a) that this is the right time and treatment for them;

b) that we are happy with each other – it is very important that you feel comfortable and you trust the practitioner with whom you are going to work with and that works both ways too.

Then at the first treatment which can last up to 1.5 hours, we go through a thorough medical history and a full background on what has, or more precisely what has not been happening.  The first treatment then commences with the client sitting in a wonderfully comfortable chair and listening to soft music, sometimes the clients want to chat but I do generally find that they do so for the first foot then by the time I start on the 2nd foot they are quiet. This is quite normal as I see it as an offloading and then relaxing stage of the treatment.  By the end of an hour of your feet being gently massaged, you will feel absolutely relaxed and often clients report that they feel like they are walking on air afterward.

From then on the treatments are generally about an hour and will also include a visualisation, which talks through various body systems allowing the unconscious mind to hear what it needs to do to achieve a positive pregnancy and beyond.

I also treat and support clients that are going through IVF, having been through the process myself a few times I know what they are going through and what generally to expect.


So how often do clients see me?  Good question in an ideal world it would be every week. But most see me on a bi-weekly basis, this is the most optimum amount of space between treatments.

When should I start with treatments?  This is also a great question, anytime whatsoever, the fact that we are on a 28-day cycle and that the beginning of egg release happens as soon as we start a period. Of course, there are different stages so anytime is a good time, sometimes the sooner you book your session the sooner your body relaxes as it knows you are doing something positive towards your goal.

Contact me, Jennifer, on 07961 306349 or email jennifer@solefertility.com